From this title you would assume I am talking about the weather, but I’m not. I am talking about the a change in seasons within relationships.
Have you ever found yourself wondering how things got so different? How one day the path you are on seems bright, sunny, and full of possibilities and then within days that bright sunny path has now turned dark and gloomy? I would like to call that the change in seasons. Just like the weather it can happen gradually or within days. It can leave you feeling scared and uncertain. I have had many relationships within my own life that have stayed for a season or two, or even thirty and then all of a sudden like the leaves falling off the tree on a cool autumn day, that relationship got swept away by the cool breeze too.
Recently, I have experienced a few of these change of seasons in my relationships and at times it has shaken me to my core, people that I have cherished, people I didn’t think would hurt me, and people that didn’t hurt me at all and stayed for days, months, years, and even decades have blown away into another “season” in someone else life.
There are different roles that people play throughout your life and give you life lessons. For example, I had a relationship that I had cherished for years and they unfortunately hurt me and I may never know the true reason for their actions but their actions shaped me from the moment of deception to present day. Their actions didn’t change my feelings towards how I treat others but it did remind me that even the most cherished people in our lives have a way of hurting us. Now that does not mean to build a wall and never show anyone the vulnerable side of yourself it just means to always have in the back of your mind, you are giving someone your heart and hoping they don’t hurt it, but the truth is, they may hurt you intentionally or unintentionally, either way, be on the look out for the life lesson. Don’t dwell on the reasons on WHY they did it. I try to look for how you can learn from it.
To go a little more in depth on the above statement and provide another example, I was in a relationship with a man a few years back, I say man but truly his actions were of a boy. We dated for a few years, he was what I thought I deserved. He was very loving to my face but behind my back he was deceitful. Over the course of the few years we dated, he was not honest with me and our relationship, a woman’s intention is always right, but the truth of the matter was, every “sign” I was given I did not want to believe and I kept living in this fantasy world. The demise to our relationship came when I was forced into a situation and had to make the best decision for myself. At the time I did not know why this was happening to me, I of course replayed everything in my head and how and why this sort of thing could of happened.
Years later I was given the ability to fully understand why I was “tested”, why I was given this life lesson.
Remember what I said earlier, “he was what I thought I deserved” He may have been what I thought I deserved, but he was not worthy of deserving me. We sometimes forget that what we want is not always what is good for us. That wasn’t the only lesson I learned from that relationship but it was one of my first “take away’s”.
Life can be funny, life lessons can come in all forms of relationships and it doesn’t even have to be from romantic relationships. I’ve learned some lessons from friendships that I’ve had also. Anytime you put your heart, energy, and time into something, the chance of having your feelings hurt are all the same.
I say all of this because it’s sometimes best to know it’s not the quantity of year it’s the quality of the relationship, it’s a give and take, and not every time will relationships be fair but the respect and loyalty should be reciprocated. Communication is key too! You should be able to be as transparent as you could be with the relationships you are within and not feel afraid to express yourself and emotions. I know there are so many times when you have an agreement/disagreement and the last thing you want to do is to rehash something, sometimes it feels just “safe” to not acknowledge the issue at hand and just sweep it under the rug.
Now, think about it, when was the last time that helped and worked out for you? I know personally, it has NEVER worked out for me.
Maybe I should stick with what I know, DIYs and painting furniture but nonetheless I truly hope this blog post finds you well. Now let me get back to what I’m good at❣️